Need to sleep....

Dan is leaving in one day. Tomorrow is the last time I will see him until August 31st, at least. That is the first day of school for Brandeis. I am already feeling sad about it. I do'nt know why part of me feels it's a crime to feel emotional. I don't know why I think that being sad about your boyfriend going away for a while is a horrible thing, that it's a weakness. Rationally it's just something that happens, you don't see a person for a while and then they come back. Things change back to normal. I don't know why it is that it's such a big deal. Why can't I just....look at it for what it is and not as some life altering phenomenon?

It's because I have missed him bitterly while I was in NJ regardless of how much we fought, worried about medical school, and focused on Calc, or drank. It always came down to that lonely feeling I got when I laid down and tried to sleep. And of course I gave into him and started feeling again, falling in love again and having feelings and now I'm back at square one. This separation won't be as bad as NJ obviously because I'll be at RA training and stuff and he'll be in Brasil with his family etc. But....I still don't want it.

To be sweet I got him a box of chocolates. Under the lid it says "these are the things that I'll miss about you while you're gone." and under each chocolate it has a slip of paper with a trait I'll miss. It's so hard to find sweet things to do for a guy. It's must easier to charm a woman out of her tiny panties. even though you don't technically have to try to charm a man outta their boxers, it's nice when you do. They need to feel special as well.

In other news, Jason has since e-mailed me. Of course we won't be best friends over e-mail because he likes to see people in person and so do I but...it'd be a super cool friendship if it worked out. I could get insider advice about med school and how to get through this crazy major.

I saw the brownies. Haven't seen them since spring sometime. I don't remember. It was nice .We played taboo. Masud kept gearing the stuff towards health related things. I was amused.

I also saw an old friend today. My friend Jonathan Hemnes came back from a year away from home. He lived and worked in France. We've missed him dearly. Today he came by and picked me up. I'm usually not a big bimmer fan either. We went to Panera with Ryland. Caught up on what's been happening. I definately wanna chill with him this week.

And now I'm here. I feel fine. I wish dan was here. I know I'm pathetic.