Life is full of stuff

So remember how this program was wonderfully academic and there was no drama surrounding me and I was just really sure of what was happening and where i'm heading and who's gonna be there for me along the way? It's not so black and white anymore. I just don't know if I'm gonna make it sometimes. it's daunting and i'm just really...........I don't know. but I do know this, I want to go to school here, I want to be a doctor now more than ever and I will put that first. That comes first to me and that is scary because I might loose important people in my life because of it. But it's too early to tell. this pre-emptive freaking out is no good. and Ihave finals to study for. I don't want to study, I can't focus.